Me and my dad, John Paul, at my 1st Mass [2011, at Sacred Heart Church near St Louis MO]
My dad died in March. He lived with kidney cancer for seven years. I preached at his funeral. I am mourning my father, and I am asking God the Father for mercy and help. I do this as a Father and priest in the Church. I found it a beautiful and emotional experience. I bowed to the altar and looked out on my family and friends.
In this month of November, the Church invites us to pray for those who have gone before us. In a special way, we want to pray for your loved ones who have passed into eternal life. Please share the names of your loved ones who have died HERE. I will offer a special Mass for your family members, living and deceased, on Friday evening, November 28.
At my dad’s funeral, I looked out at my family with misty eyes. My two uncles were in dark suits. They look a lot like my dad– with their dark Italian features and big smiles. His two sisters, my aunts, were in tears. My two nieces were in the front pew with my sister. They all wore colorful spring sundresses. My 10 year-old nephew, with his Robert Redford hair, hid his eyes under his bangs, wearing a bright blue suit. “Paw paw” loved his grandchildren. Amidst his many doctor’s visits and medical treatments, my dad would always light up when his grandkids came in the room. “Paw paw!” they shouted, and gave him a big hug.
He was a construction worker. Driving through downtown St Louis, he would proudly point to city landmarks: “I worked on the stadium, I worked on the Arch, I worked on that hotel.” He was a man of few words who was most happy at big family celebrations. As I said in my homily, he could be a big teddy bear– smiling, laughing, the life of the party. He could also be a grizzly bear– moody and frustrated after a hard day.
At a funeral Mass, the priest prays “for your faithful, Lord, life is changed not ended.” In death, Christians believe that life is “changed not ended.” In his passion and death, Jesus enters deeply into our human experience. In his resurrection, Jesus conquers sin and transforms death into a gateway to eternal life. A funeral is a time for prayer. My dad was not a saint. He was imperfect. He could be kind and generous. He could be harsh and demanding. He is similar to all of us– imperfect, needing God’s grace, relying on the prayers and support of family and friends. Relying on the Father’s mercy, I pray that for my dad “life is changed, not ended.”
On the feast of All Souls on November 2, we pray at Mass that our departed loved ones may rejoice with Christ in His eternal Kingdom. Know that we are praying for your family and friends who have died in the last year— especially those who spent time with us at Sacred Heart Jesuit Retreat in Sedalia CO. “Eternal rest, grant unto them, O Lord. And let perpetual light shine upon them.”
-Fr Joe Laramie SJ
Looking ahead to 2026!
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sacredheartretreat.org/retreats
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