Life is Changed, Not Ended

Me and my dad, John Paul, at my 1st Mass [2011, at Sacred Heart Church near St Louis MO]

My dad died in March. He lived with kidney cancer for seven years. I preached at his funeral. I am mourning my father, and I am asking God the Father for mercy and help. I do this as a Father and priest in the Church. I found it a beautiful and emotional experience. I bowed to the altar and looked out on my family and friends. 

In this month of November, the Church invites us to pray for those who have gone before us. In a special way, we want to pray for your loved ones who have passed into eternal life. Please share the names of your loved ones who have died HERE. I will offer a special Mass for your family members, living and deceased, on Friday evening, November 28.

At my dad’s funeral, I looked out at my family with misty eyes. My two uncles were in dark suits. They look a lot like my dad– with their dark Italian features and big smiles. His two sisters, my aunts, were in tears. My two nieces were in the front pew with my sister. They all wore colorful spring sundresses. My 10 year-old nephew, with his Robert Redford hair, hid his eyes under his bangs, wearing a bright blue suit. “Paw paw” loved his grandchildren. Amidst his many doctor’s visits and medical treatments, my dad would always light up when his grandkids came in the room. “Paw paw!” they shouted, and gave him a big hug. 

He was a construction worker. Driving through downtown St Louis, he would proudly point to city landmarks: “I worked on the stadium, I worked on the Arch, I worked on that hotel.” He was a man of few words who was most happy at big family celebrations. As I said in my homily, he could be a big teddy bear– smiling, laughing, the life of the party. He could also be a grizzly bear– moody and frustrated after a hard day. 

At a funeral Mass, the priest prays “for your faithful, Lord, life is changed not ended.” In death, Christians believe that life is “changed not ended.” In his passion and death, Jesus enters deeply into our human experience. In his resurrection, Jesus conquers sin and transforms death into a gateway to eternal life. A funeral is a time for prayer. My dad was not a saint. He was imperfect. He could be kind and generous. He could be harsh and demanding. He is similar to all of us– imperfect, needing God’s grace, relying on the prayers and support of family and friends. Relying on the Father’s mercy, I pray that for my dad “life is changed, not ended.”

On the feast of All Souls on November 2, we pray at Mass that our departed loved ones may rejoice with Christ in His eternal Kingdom. Know that we are praying for your family and friends who have died in the last year— especially those who spent time with us at Sacred Heart Jesuit Retreat in Sedalia CO. “Eternal rest, grant unto them, O Lord. And let perpetual light shine upon them.”

-Fr Joe Laramie SJ

Looking ahead to 2026!

We just released our 2026 retreat schedule. Sign up today. Join us for a weekend retreat:

sacredheartretreat.org/retreats 

Consider making a donation to support our retreats and our mission: https://form.jotform.com/233416396665061 

NEW logo!

We are named for the Sacred Heart of Jesus. This fall we unveil a new logo to emphasize our name and mission. The Sacred Heart is a special devotion of the Jesuits, beginning in France in the 1600s. The heart is an image of love. The Heart of Jesus shows the love of God poured out for us. The white cross marks this symbol as a disctintly Christian devotion. The flame around it symbolizes the burning love of Christ— for His Father and for each of us. In her vision of the Sacred Heart in the 1600s, St Margaret Mary saw the flame and cross. We pray that your with us retreat will ‘set your heart on fire’ with the love of God, your family and friends, and those most in need.

The ‘wavy lines’ across the heart are a double symbol. They are an image of the crown of thorns which Jesus wore in his Passion. These jagged lines also point to the Rocky Mountains; our retreat house is in Sedalia CO, in the foothills of the Front Range, just south of Denver.

Jesus called the disciples to go “up to the mountaintop” with him in the Transfiguration [Luke 9:28-36]. There, Jesus is glorified before his friends— sharing his love, power, and wisdom with them. We pray that your retreat here is a similar ‘mountaintop experience’ with the Lord— and that you come back for retreat year after year.

Saint of the Sacred Heart: St Margaret Mary Alacoque VHM

A young woman prays quietly, kneeling at a wooden pew in a cool stone chapel. It’s a night like many others. A cold breeze squeezes through the wooden window panes. The chapel is quiet, with the warm, sweet smell of candle wax and incense from recent feast days. She turns the pages of a small prayer book, glancing up at the crucifix over the main altar. 

Her life is not bad. She has friends and family who care for her. She suffers from occasional stress and has trouble sleeping, but she can speak with a few friends about these issues and find support. She knows that people find her a bit odd. She is clumsy, awkward, nervous. 

And, there is something else. She’s never been able to name it. A stirring. A hope and desire for something, for someone. She feels it now. The red flickering flame in the dark church draws her eye. This red candle honors the Real Presence of the Eucharist, the Body and Blood of Jesus in the tabernacle. The flame grows brighter, hotter, like a heart beating silently in the dark. She hears something. It is quiet at first, growing louder and more insistent. She sees something. She sees someone. She sees him. Jesus says to her, “Behold the Heart.”

“I could plainly see His Heart, pierced and bleeding, yet there were flames, too, coming from it and a crown of thorns around it. He told me to behold his heart which so loved humanity. Then he seemed to take my very heart from me and place it there in His Heart. In return he gave me back part of his flaming heart” [excerpts from her journal, France, 1673-75]

[This reflection is from Fr Joe Laramie SJ’s award-winning book, Love Him Ever More: A 9-Day Personal Retreat with the Sacred Heart of Jesus, Ave Maria Press, Notre Dame, IN, 2023. Used here with permission]

full article: https://www.denvercatholic.org/the-sacred-hearts-350-year-legacy-began-with-one-humble-nun